Today! On Misadventures in Public Transit!

As you may or may not know, fellow Bourges and Bourgettes, there’s this little game on Sunday involving grown men engaging in ram-like head butting and some kind of lemon covered in animal skin being tossed about while onlookers participate in drinking copious amounts of fermented liquid bread that makes a person take their clothes off in public in the middle of the night and sob-slash-demand my husband to fuck me because it’s been over a week and why don’t you love me anymore.


Seriously though.


What is the difference.

Apparently, ’tis also the season for stupid homophobic remarks such as the one made by 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver about whether or not an openly gay player would be allowed in the locker room. Now, Culliver (‘s PR team) has since (made him) apologized, but I can’t help but think that rather than truly learning about the community, he’ll just be better at keeping his mouth shut and instead be quieter about his bigotry. I certainly hope I’m wrong.

“But wait, Bourgie,” says you, my invisible reader, “what the fuck does this have to do with your misadventures on public transit?”

Well! I’m glad you asked!

Today, during one of said misadventures, two guys on the train to work today seemed to think that while what Culliver said was an incredibly stupid and misguided thing to say (“especially in a city as liberal as San Francisco,”), the backlash and ire that people felt was…wrong.


“Yeah, I mean, like…that shit wasn’t cool or whatever, but he shouldn’t have to apologize for his opinion,” said one with an indiscernible facial tattoo.

“Right,” the other agreed, rolling up the sleeves of his red hoodie, “that’s like censorship, you know? That’s like super fascist.”

…I…oh come on.

The argument (and metaphor…dafuq man…) was totally weak to say the least. Equating having consequences for your actions to fascist censorship (Mussolini, how he rolleth in his grave)? What happened with Culliver was not the same as having your face shot off for expressing your opinion. Culliver said some egregious shit, people and especially San Francisco (a city so gay that I have heard it referred to as The Mothership in some queer circles) were unhappy with what he said, and it reflected poorly on the team. I am sorry, Red Hoodie, but if some dude makes a denigratory comment that he knows is going to be broadcasted publicly while representing his team, he’s gon’ have to pay the social cost.

The main point here is that there are ramifications for everything. Culliver was free to make the comments he did (i.e., not censorship), but he had to know that it was going to be shitty for the 49ers’ image (beyond it just being a super douchey thing to say) to express them (in a public forum no less).

In the same vein, I could stand up on a chair and shout out racial epitaphs until I’m blue in the face and have every right to (as long as I wasn’t directly threatening anyone), but the sole backlash or ostracization I’d receive as a result of my acting like a giant asshole does not equate to censoring me.

So you shut your pseudo-philosophical, Kony ’12-endorsing pie hole, Red Hoodie!

And to you, my nonexistent readers. I leave you with a real man’s hoodie…that of the flyest-dressed motherfucker in the whole train, of whom I had the privilege to stand behind in uncomfortably close proximity.

You're welcome.

You’re welcome.